Comic Relief #2: Algorithms

Ben sits down next to Mike on the couch. He is drinking a 120 Minute IPA and is mildly buzzed. Mike is drinking a cup full of his own tears.

Ben: Wow, that was quite the adventure. Remember how we escaped that treacherous wall of water?

Mike: Yeah. I was right there.

Ben: Oh. Yes.

Ben sips his beer.

Ben: But are you sure you don’t want to relive it, for the sake of exposition?

Mike: Hm?

Ben is alarmed.

Ben: Hey, Mike, what’s wrong? I’m trying to bring everyone up to speed and you’re just sitting there like a useless lump. You’re sitting there like… like Mike.

Mike: Hm.

Ben: If this were a sitcom, the audience would have laughed an inappropriately long time, disproportionate to the actual funniness of the joke.

Mike: Yes, I know. Insulting me is great for an easy laugh. I’m just not feeling it today.

Ben: Aw, what happened? Did a girl turn you down? (aside) Like any girl would be caught dead talking to you.

Mike: No, it’s nothing like that. It’s this thing I wrote and posted to social media.

Pause.

Mike: I do talk to girls, you know. I mean women.

Ben: Saying “good morning” at the office doesn’t count. And for future reference, you’re not supposed to respond to asides.

Mike: Noted.

Ben: So this thing you posted. I assume it was your manifesto?

Mike: No, it was just this thing I wrote that I thought was really deep and meaningful and well done.

Ben: So what’s the problem?

Mike: The problem is no one’s seen it. See?

Mike shows Ben his laptop, opened to the social media page.

Ben: Oh. Oh, right. I see what the problem is.

Mike: You do?

Ben: Yeah, it’s really a very simple misunderstanding.

Mike: It is?

Ben: It’s not that nobody’s seen it. It’s that nobody liked it.

Mike: But I thought… with the algorithms.

Ben: Nope. Not algorithms. Nobody liked it. It’s a perfectly normal reaction when you write something bad.

Mike: Oh.

Ben sips his 120 Minute IPA. Mike has sunk into his seat.

Ben: Oh, what’s the matter now?

Mike: It’s really shaken my confidence. I worked on this thing and put it out there and… nothing.

Ben: From one artist to another, you’ve got to believe me—that’s the risk you take.

Mike: So this has happened to you too?

Ben: Nah, I’m actually good at writing.

Sitcom-style laughter disproportionate to the quality of the joke.