When I was a kid, and I liked a show, and I thought I was the only one who liked the show, finding other people who also liked the show was a big deal.
And when I got older, and I was still watching cartoons, and I thought, well, people are supposed to grow out of cartoons, finding other people who still liked cartoons was a big deal.
When you think you’re the only one, it’s easy to think this is because there’s something wrong with you. So when the internet became a thing, and I found people my age or older who were into the same thing, I thought I’d found the Holy Grail. I thought I’d finally found the thing that said I wasn’t weird for liking this stuff.
And then the weirdness kicked into high gear.
The internet, as most of you know, then became a place for people to vent and complain and generally be vicious to one another, but most especially to the people who make our favorite things. I finally found my tribe, and they kinda sucked.
Before Twitter and Facebook and even Myspace, there were message boards. Subconsciously, I was learning that the most negative, aggressive posts were the ones that got the most attention. I figured it out as my nice-to-moderate posts went ignored. But once I finally gave in and expressed my disdain or apathy for a project, people started reacting. It was strangely validating.
But my flirtation with the Dark Side didn’t last very long, because I quickly realized that the people who work on the projects I’m badmouthing could potentially read my posts. The thought of it made me feel guilty. I had one of those “What have I become?” moments, and I backed away from message boards for a while.
I didn’t want to be like those people online who could not find joy in anything. So they’re unhappy with Batman? Then read literally anything else. There is no shortage of amazing talent out there. Stop taking everything as a personal insult. The world is a bigger place than you can imagine, and it is full of wonders.
So on the one hand, I felt validated for finding people with common interests, but on the other hand, I kind of hated them.
Now we have Twitter. On Twitter, all the negativity grew exponentially more potent, some of which downright criminal. But Twitter facilitates positivity as well, if to a lesser degree. I can actually say something benign or downright glowing on Twitter, and it is more likely to be acknowledged now than back then on those message boards. The trick is finding people you think you’d enjoy communicating with, whose cynicism and sarcasm don’t shield them so much that no amount of joy can escape.
I suppose when you’re a kid, and you’re balancing these strange social hierarchies, any form of genuine expression can be seen as a weakness. You don’t want to find out that this thing you love is actually the Wrong Thing. You want approval and validation or, failing that, you want to be left alone. Anything that someone else enjoys or loves is “lame,” or whatever the kids are calling it today.
I suspect many of us take these feelings with us to adulthood.
Here’s how I feel: When I really like something, that feeling is enhanced when I am able to find people who share the sentiment. If such people cannot be found, then I am perfectly fine enjoying it on my own. (Yes, I have grown wise in my old age.) When I like something, I want to share it in some way. And when I dislike something, I want to understand why I disliked it. I don’t want to get emotional about it, but I do want to analyze it.
I could go at length about what’s wrong with the DC movies without insulting any of the individuals who made or performed in the movie. I prefer to look at it this way: They are all very talented people, many of whom have done great work before and will do so again. There’s no point in holding grudges just because they made one bad movie. And frankly, I consider it a miracle that movies can be any good, considering the hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of ways it can go wrong. Hell, I can even go at length about what’s wrong without insulting people who have different opinions. Imagine that.
I don’t really know what the point of this post was, except that I felt compelled to talk about my experience interacting with people online. For the most part, I wouldn’t want to interact with any of them. But occasionally, I can find someone who is smart and interesting and looks at things in a way that I hadn’t noticed before. That almost makes it all worth it.
